Back blogging - Feeling Sad!

I am back cause there's a lot of things I would like to talk to someone! Someone who can share my sadness, unfortunately, there isn't anyone!!!! Time passes, and M is turning 14 and me 44. The older M get, the harder to communicate with him. He is not doing well in his studies and he doesn't see a point to improve them. But the sadness, is his personality. I am more worried on this than his studies. We have a big fight yesterday over a pair of shoe. He wanted to get a pair on new Nike shoe and yes, I have agreed to buy for him. We went to the shop, sadly they run out of his size and will stock-up and be available at the end of the month. Immediately, his facial expression change. M pull a long face and show his black face. I told him, he can always get it at the end of the month as there's no hurry, but he didn't reply me and stop talking anymore. I have been always very upset and angry with his this attitude and I felt I have been always bullied by him because I have been to nice to him. I felt that he had no respect for me, he shouted back at me when I told him off in the car. Told him if he fail any subject, he will be grounded during school holidays. He answer that I cannot control him cause I have no rights!!!!! Told him that I will not give him any extra pocket money for school holidays, he answer me that he can take from him father. But I told him I will ask papa not to give him, he answer me I have no rights!!! Gods!! Will you get mad if you son told to you this way. I admit I was pretty loud but that's because his attitude is really bad. If I don't teach him, he is going to be like this when he grows older. That's really bad!! When you don't get what you want, you just throw your tantrum and 'ugly' black face. crying-smiley.png I have stop talking to him cause I am upset