Tuesday, November 2, 2010
My Life Will Never Be The Same .....
It has never occurred to me that this will happen to me, and yesterday (01112010) really make a new turn to my life. And the most painful things is, the person who hurt me most is the one who I have been living and taking care of for the past 13 years. It was like a knife pierced thru my heart. After 13 years, yesterday was the worst day of my life. And today, my life will never be the same again ...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Chinese New Year 2010
Dad was finally discharged from SGH on 5 Feb, after 30 days stay in the hospital. I am extremely glad and relieved that he is on the road of recovering. My greatest thanks to Dr Lim Chong Hee for his excellent care to my dad and also to him and his staff for the constant updates on my dad's conditions during his hospitalisation.
Dad is doing rather well at home now, after 16 days from his discharged. His health is improving and he doesn't felt breathless anymore except.. he is still not on normal diet. He eats like soft diet food, porridge, mee suan, mince meat, bread with milk. But I am glad he is doing well. Dad will be back for review with Dr Lim on 2 March and I am hoping he will be fully recovered by then so dad can visit TCM to boost up his immune system and his health as he had lost a lot of weight during the last 1 month.
Today is already the 8th day of Chinese New Year and I have also got a new maid, Robie. She is a mother of a 9 months old baby boy and is 26 years old. Tall and rather pretty. So far, I find her quite ok except that she doesn't clean that well. Guess that can be train. Most importantly, she has to behaved and not fool around and create problem for me. I am not fussy, but she has to keep the house clean and neat while HB and myself are at work.
Chinese New Year has so far being good and I will be starting work tomorrow after a 8 days yearly break from work. And I wish all my family members good health, good wealth and happiness always. For those who are schooling, wishing their studies with flying colours and those working, all the best years ahead. For my parents, wishing them good health, happiness always. For my HB, good business, good wealth, good health. Earn more $$$ and get me a Rolex watch. Heehee.... For myself, good health, good wealth, good skin, loose weigh, stay young & beautiful always.. heehee...
For everyone, "HUAT" ar!
Dad is doing rather well at home now, after 16 days from his discharged. His health is improving and he doesn't felt breathless anymore except.. he is still not on normal diet. He eats like soft diet food, porridge, mee suan, mince meat, bread with milk. But I am glad he is doing well. Dad will be back for review with Dr Lim on 2 March and I am hoping he will be fully recovered by then so dad can visit TCM to boost up his immune system and his health as he had lost a lot of weight during the last 1 month.
Today is already the 8th day of Chinese New Year and I have also got a new maid, Robie. She is a mother of a 9 months old baby boy and is 26 years old. Tall and rather pretty. So far, I find her quite ok except that she doesn't clean that well. Guess that can be train. Most importantly, she has to behaved and not fool around and create problem for me. I am not fussy, but she has to keep the house clean and neat while HB and myself are at work.
Chinese New Year has so far being good and I will be starting work tomorrow after a 8 days yearly break from work. And I wish all my family members good health, good wealth and happiness always. For those who are schooling, wishing their studies with flying colours and those working, all the best years ahead. For my parents, wishing them good health, happiness always. For my HB, good business, good wealth, good health. Earn more $$$ and get me a Rolex watch. Heehee.... For myself, good health, good wealth, good skin, loose weigh, stay young & beautiful always.. heehee...
For everyone, "HUAT" ar!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Back with a 'Heavy' heart
I am back with a very heavy heart after so many had happened recently. Dad diagnosed with Lung Cancer, had his surgery, unexpected happening.. so sad .. so sad...
Since 6 Jan 2010, the day dad was admitted to SGH.. till today, sad to say that he is still in the hospital.. Day 25 stay in the hospital for dad.. and the surgery has caused some side effect to his vocal cord.. unfortunately, his left vocal cord is damaged. He has speech problem and not able to swallow food. Dad was referred to ENT doctor for futher treatments. He might need a surgery to shift the position of his damagaged vocal cord nearer to his airway, so that he could talk and able to swallow food. But with his current condition, he might not be sutiable for surgery. ENT doctor is suggesting instead of the surgery, perhaps a bulk injection will ease his current conditions temporary. At least for a couple of months or have his discharged and go home. Chinese New year is around the corner and I really hope tht dad could go home and celebrate with us. It actually sadden me to see him like this.
There are more issues other than dad's that are upsetting me recently. M is not doing well in school. He behaves badly. With my daily visit to hospital, my attention to M has lessen, I no longer doing the revision with M on his studies, I no longer checking his school work. To my disbelieve, M got his first science spelling 0/10. This is very upsetting, E doesn't bother on M's school work. He felt that M should be more independance and should take care of his school work by himself. But who are we taking about here.. a eight years old playful kid. Don't you think that he will automatically do his work without being told? That's M, we are taking about here. E got angry with M last week and threw his 'Animal Kaiser' card collection booklet out of the car. I felt that is very quick tempered. Sometime I really don't understand him, sometime I felt that I don't know this person. I constantly told myself, this is what life is all about. You were young, you grown up, you married, you gave birth and now you suffer. Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. am I suffering right now? Sometimes... Do I have a happy life? Did I married the right one? Am I a good mother? I constantly asking myself all these question when I am upsetting and down.. the only answer to them.... "CRYING to sleep" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Since 6 Jan 2010, the day dad was admitted to SGH.. till today, sad to say that he is still in the hospital.. Day 25 stay in the hospital for dad.. and the surgery has caused some side effect to his vocal cord.. unfortunately, his left vocal cord is damaged. He has speech problem and not able to swallow food. Dad was referred to ENT doctor for futher treatments. He might need a surgery to shift the position of his damagaged vocal cord nearer to his airway, so that he could talk and able to swallow food. But with his current condition, he might not be sutiable for surgery. ENT doctor is suggesting instead of the surgery, perhaps a bulk injection will ease his current conditions temporary. At least for a couple of months or have his discharged and go home. Chinese New year is around the corner and I really hope tht dad could go home and celebrate with us. It actually sadden me to see him like this.
There are more issues other than dad's that are upsetting me recently. M is not doing well in school. He behaves badly. With my daily visit to hospital, my attention to M has lessen, I no longer doing the revision with M on his studies, I no longer checking his school work. To my disbelieve, M got his first science spelling 0/10. This is very upsetting, E doesn't bother on M's school work. He felt that M should be more independance and should take care of his school work by himself. But who are we taking about here.. a eight years old playful kid. Don't you think that he will automatically do his work without being told? That's M, we are taking about here. E got angry with M last week and threw his 'Animal Kaiser' card collection booklet out of the car. I felt that is very quick tempered. Sometime I really don't understand him, sometime I felt that I don't know this person. I constantly told myself, this is what life is all about. You were young, you grown up, you married, you gave birth and now you suffer. Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. am I suffering right now? Sometimes... Do I have a happy life? Did I married the right one? Am I a good mother? I constantly asking myself all these question when I am upsetting and down.. the only answer to them.... "CRYING to sleep" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Monday, January 18, 2010
I am back blogging
A brand new year ahead, but I am back with a heavy heart.. feeling tired, confused and lost.
December 2009, dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to underwent surgery to have his left lung completely remove. It sadden me terribly. Doctor's suggestion is to have the left lung completely remove so that the cancer will not spread to his other parts of the body.
2010, I welcome this brand new year with a heavy and stressful heart. I were full of hope for his speedy recovery. The day arrive, 6 January 2010. Dad was to have his surgery done in SGH. I remembered clearly the 'image' when he was wheeled into the Operation Theatre. Tears just flow down from my eye and I could not control that at all. I held his hand tightly and told that mum, bro and myself will be right outside waiting from him. Minutes, hours passes and we were anxiously waiting for him to be wheel out of the theatre. The cloud seem to be truns grey although sun shining brightly outside. As I was looking out of the Operation Waiting Room, I saw a familiar face being wheeled out to ICU. Yes, that's my dad. He looks tired. Doctor said the surgery was very successful.
Dad was in ICU for a day and then tranfer to normal ward 56 for recovering. On the fourth day after his surgery, one cold windy night, my mobile rang at around 3.30am. A call from SGH ward 56. The nurse on the line told me that my dad has become breathless and had difficulty breathing and was to send to High Dependency ward for monitoring. I am left with a heavy and worrying heart. My mobile rang again at 7.30am. This time is the ward doctor who called to said that my dad is being send to ICU to have incubator inserted into his throat. My heart is like a knife poking thru. And I have a feeling that that doesn't sound good at all. I rang mum and bro and rush to SGH.
Those 'God Damn' registration staff at the lobby refused to let me enter. I told them that my dad had just been send into ICU and I needed to be there to find out more info. The staff rang ICU and upon the staff nurse 'ok', they reluctantly allow my entry. I don't understand what kind of system SGH has. Can they understand that at that particular moment we just needed support and not refusal. I felt that the system is not flexible enough. They cannot understand the feeling of ours at that moment but they continue to agitate us. Sigh!!! No wonder, people break rules all the time, cause rule and human are different. Human has brain, rules don't.
Dad's right lung has been infected and there is blockage to prevent oxygen into the right lung (only one left). This is worrying, we are at a loss. What do we need to do, what are the doctor planning to do. The answer were always 'it takes a bit more time'. I almost collapse, lost, blank. One middle of the night, I was awoke with a terrible chest pain, I thought I am dying and I couldn't breathe properly. I suffer all this in the slient by myself. The pain brought me to sleep. I told myself I have to do something, I cannot let my dad suffer in pain cause I have been thru it. Should he be changed to private hospital? Should we bring him to a Professor? (By the way, I am not saying his doctor is no good, it just that I wanted solution). All sort of questions bothering me and I have no one to advice me. I wanted to discuss with the doctor, but I kept missing him whenever I visit dad in the hospital. Well, this is SGH, a government subsidize hospital, not Gleneagle Hospital, where you can phone the doctor anytime to discuss. I told myself, when I get old, I will not go to Government Hospital cause I never like their system, their long waiting time. With the long waiting appointment time, the dying patient died even before he gets to see the doctor in his next appointment.
Anger, anxiety, lost, blured, sadden, etc.... lead me to write a email to Mr Khaw, our Minister of Health. I shared with him my experience in SGH and suggested that the hospital should allocate some time for the doctor to meet the patient's familly member. The doctor can update the condition and give some kind of assurance to the family member. Right? Isn't that a wonderful suggestion? What a brilliant feedback??????
I have never felt so embarrassed in my life.
December 2009, dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to underwent surgery to have his left lung completely remove. It sadden me terribly. Doctor's suggestion is to have the left lung completely remove so that the cancer will not spread to his other parts of the body.
2010, I welcome this brand new year with a heavy and stressful heart. I were full of hope for his speedy recovery. The day arrive, 6 January 2010. Dad was to have his surgery done in SGH. I remembered clearly the 'image' when he was wheeled into the Operation Theatre. Tears just flow down from my eye and I could not control that at all. I held his hand tightly and told that mum, bro and myself will be right outside waiting from him. Minutes, hours passes and we were anxiously waiting for him to be wheel out of the theatre. The cloud seem to be truns grey although sun shining brightly outside. As I was looking out of the Operation Waiting Room, I saw a familiar face being wheeled out to ICU. Yes, that's my dad. He looks tired. Doctor said the surgery was very successful.
Dad was in ICU for a day and then tranfer to normal ward 56 for recovering. On the fourth day after his surgery, one cold windy night, my mobile rang at around 3.30am. A call from SGH ward 56. The nurse on the line told me that my dad has become breathless and had difficulty breathing and was to send to High Dependency ward for monitoring. I am left with a heavy and worrying heart. My mobile rang again at 7.30am. This time is the ward doctor who called to said that my dad is being send to ICU to have incubator inserted into his throat. My heart is like a knife poking thru. And I have a feeling that that doesn't sound good at all. I rang mum and bro and rush to SGH.
Those 'God Damn' registration staff at the lobby refused to let me enter. I told them that my dad had just been send into ICU and I needed to be there to find out more info. The staff rang ICU and upon the staff nurse 'ok', they reluctantly allow my entry. I don't understand what kind of system SGH has. Can they understand that at that particular moment we just needed support and not refusal. I felt that the system is not flexible enough. They cannot understand the feeling of ours at that moment but they continue to agitate us. Sigh!!! No wonder, people break rules all the time, cause rule and human are different. Human has brain, rules don't.
Dad's right lung has been infected and there is blockage to prevent oxygen into the right lung (only one left). This is worrying, we are at a loss. What do we need to do, what are the doctor planning to do. The answer were always 'it takes a bit more time'. I almost collapse, lost, blank. One middle of the night, I was awoke with a terrible chest pain, I thought I am dying and I couldn't breathe properly. I suffer all this in the slient by myself. The pain brought me to sleep. I told myself I have to do something, I cannot let my dad suffer in pain cause I have been thru it. Should he be changed to private hospital? Should we bring him to a Professor? (By the way, I am not saying his doctor is no good, it just that I wanted solution). All sort of questions bothering me and I have no one to advice me. I wanted to discuss with the doctor, but I kept missing him whenever I visit dad in the hospital. Well, this is SGH, a government subsidize hospital, not Gleneagle Hospital, where you can phone the doctor anytime to discuss. I told myself, when I get old, I will not go to Government Hospital cause I never like their system, their long waiting time. With the long waiting appointment time, the dying patient died even before he gets to see the doctor in his next appointment.
Anger, anxiety, lost, blured, sadden, etc.... lead me to write a email to Mr Khaw, our Minister of Health. I shared with him my experience in SGH and suggested that the hospital should allocate some time for the doctor to meet the patient's familly member. The doctor can update the condition and give some kind of assurance to the family member. Right? Isn't that a wonderful suggestion? What a brilliant feedback??????
I have never felt so embarrassed in my life.
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